My Reflection
Standing in the mirror getting ready for the day I feel as if I am applying my façade. I look up and tell myself how old, how inadequate, how ugly a reflection I see. Not just on the outside but on the inside too.
Then I ask, “How God? How can you as almighty as you are love me? How can you continue to have confidence in me?”
Then suddenly my daughter comes beaming around the corner and says, “Mom, may I borrow your eye liner?”
As I watch her applying liner by my side I am filled with awe. Although I have just moments before scolded her for running late and not planning ahead, she doesn’t back away but joins me in our preparation for the day.
She is beautiful! She is a part of me. She is a part of my husband. She is a part of God!
Then I am reminded. That’s how He does it. That’s how He loves me. As a mother loves her child, unconditionally.
Loving you with the love of Christ,
Nelle
September 29,2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
YHWH beats shiva, Every time
How's that belief system working for you?
The truth is simple; it's the lies that are complicated. Challenge: when you feel the most hopeless, say out loud, "Jesus Christ of Nazareth, help me. God, give me the faith to believe." That's it. That's all you have to say.
I'm not talking about the evangelical movement, or political affiliation, or doctrine, or dogma, blah, blah, blah. I'm talking about your getting real with the one Person who can give you hope and get you unstuck. No strings attached.
This eastern religion/new age/lemur ancestry/occultism will eff your sh*t up, and maybe it already has done. I can say this to you because I have been there. Majored in English and Philosophy, got grad school degrees, blah, blah, blah. And still wanted to frickin die everyday, because a person needs HOPE to live.
(Concept of SHIVA in Hinduism, that DEATH wins over all life in the end). Take it from one who knows, it does not have to be that way. You have a choice, and only you can make it.
I don't typically proselytize because I am completely disgusted with the hypocrisy of "mainstream Christianity" and its congregations full of superficial showdogs. That's not for me. I hate superficial relationships and choose not to have them.
But when I feel a kinship with a genuine person, like those who read this blog, then I care. That's why you're being lectured to rather sternly at the moment. I care. I really, really do.
So if you are ready to live in every sense of the word, then man up, and say two simple sentences. "Jesus Christ of Nazareth, help me. God, give me the faith to believe." That's it. That's all you have to say.
Someone stronger than you are will do the rest.
Guaranteed. Way it is.
The truth is simple; it's the lies that are complicated. Challenge: when you feel the most hopeless, say out loud, "Jesus Christ of Nazareth, help me. God, give me the faith to believe." That's it. That's all you have to say.
I'm not talking about the evangelical movement, or political affiliation, or doctrine, or dogma, blah, blah, blah. I'm talking about your getting real with the one Person who can give you hope and get you unstuck. No strings attached.
This eastern religion/new age/lemur ancestry/occultism will eff your sh*t up, and maybe it already has done. I can say this to you because I have been there. Majored in English and Philosophy, got grad school degrees, blah, blah, blah. And still wanted to frickin die everyday, because a person needs HOPE to live.
(Concept of SHIVA in Hinduism, that DEATH wins over all life in the end). Take it from one who knows, it does not have to be that way. You have a choice, and only you can make it.
I don't typically proselytize because I am completely disgusted with the hypocrisy of "mainstream Christianity" and its congregations full of superficial showdogs. That's not for me. I hate superficial relationships and choose not to have them.
But when I feel a kinship with a genuine person, like those who read this blog, then I care. That's why you're being lectured to rather sternly at the moment. I care. I really, really do.
So if you are ready to live in every sense of the word, then man up, and say two simple sentences. "Jesus Christ of Nazareth, help me. God, give me the faith to believe." That's it. That's all you have to say.
Someone stronger than you are will do the rest.
Guaranteed. Way it is.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
EvanHELLical
If you ever read my story you'll note that I came to know Jesus, in spite of, not because of His followers.
The Bible calls Jesus Christ of Nazareth the Great Physician and the Good Shepherd. Reflecting back on my church experiences, I realize this is intentional on God's part; this believer is covered with third degree scorch marks, the majority of them aquired from being burned by religious folk. (And I'm not talking about Buddhists, Hindus, or Bahai's. I am talking about self-proclaimed evangelical Christians.)
Having watched my fair share of animal documentaries, I can honestly say I have never seen wild animals turn and tear each other to pieces with the pure bloodlust and zeal with which Christians attack each other.
Interestingly, Christians attack with subtlety, mostly via remarks and rules that are shame-based. From what I've read of the New Testament, Jesus invites those without sin themselves to cast stones.
Word to the smug: if you're going to cast stones, you'd better bring back-up, because not everyone is going to roll over and play dead.
Christians who mistake me for the weak member of the herd, for example, bring it. You can blacklist me from your church, shun me socially, and even--in the case of formerly longstanding friends--give me the silent treatment; after that, present your victory at the altar.
I wonder how God feels about seeing someone He has invited into His temple for healing being hastened to their death? Wonder how he feels about the perfect people rejecting brothers and sisters because we have failed to live up to their expectations?
The metaphor that comes to mind is the Protestant church as the Roman Coliseum: bring us the lost, the unbelievers, the unsaved, and let them watch--and even participate themselves--as we rip each other to shreds, and congratulate ourselves over lunch after the show.
I'll never be done with Jesus. He is the reason I've survived this long. But I'm pretty sure I'm done with Evangelicals.
I can't seem to find an unscorched square inch of skin. Next...
The Bible calls Jesus Christ of Nazareth the Great Physician and the Good Shepherd. Reflecting back on my church experiences, I realize this is intentional on God's part; this believer is covered with third degree scorch marks, the majority of them aquired from being burned by religious folk. (And I'm not talking about Buddhists, Hindus, or Bahai's. I am talking about self-proclaimed evangelical Christians.)
Having watched my fair share of animal documentaries, I can honestly say I have never seen wild animals turn and tear each other to pieces with the pure bloodlust and zeal with which Christians attack each other.
Interestingly, Christians attack with subtlety, mostly via remarks and rules that are shame-based. From what I've read of the New Testament, Jesus invites those without sin themselves to cast stones.
Word to the smug: if you're going to cast stones, you'd better bring back-up, because not everyone is going to roll over and play dead.
Christians who mistake me for the weak member of the herd, for example, bring it. You can blacklist me from your church, shun me socially, and even--in the case of formerly longstanding friends--give me the silent treatment; after that, present your victory at the altar.
I wonder how God feels about seeing someone He has invited into His temple for healing being hastened to their death? Wonder how he feels about the perfect people rejecting brothers and sisters because we have failed to live up to their expectations?
The metaphor that comes to mind is the Protestant church as the Roman Coliseum: bring us the lost, the unbelievers, the unsaved, and let them watch--and even participate themselves--as we rip each other to shreds, and congratulate ourselves over lunch after the show.
I'll never be done with Jesus. He is the reason I've survived this long. But I'm pretty sure I'm done with Evangelicals.
I can't seem to find an unscorched square inch of skin. Next...
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The Message (MSG)
Matthew 9:11-13 (The Message)
10-11Later when Jesus was eating supper at Matthew's house with his close followers, a lot of disreputable characters came and joined them. When the Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company, they had a fit, and lit into Jesus' followers. "What kind of example is this from your Teacher, acting cozy with crooks and riffraff?"
12-13Jesus, overhearing, shot back, "Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what this Scripture means: 'I'm after mercy, not religion.' I'm here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders."
Matthew 9:11-13 (The Message)
10-11Later when Jesus was eating supper at Matthew's house with his close followers, a lot of disreputable characters came and joined them. When the Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company, they had a fit, and lit into Jesus' followers. "What kind of example is this from your Teacher, acting cozy with crooks and riffraff?"
12-13Jesus, overhearing, shot back, "Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what this Scripture means: 'I'm after mercy, not religion.' I'm here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders."
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Abandonment
For several weeks, I’ve been meeting with the Lord over The Message’s translation of Psalm 40.
Perhaps the hardest part of belonging to God is deciding to lay down the right to defend ourselves [in the flesh], when people are mean.
In Psalm 40, King David calls on us to “abandon ourselves to God” and “enter the mystery.”
I’ve been meditating on the meaning of abandonment. We can abandon all hope, we can abandon spouse or children, we can abandon jobs. What does it mean to abandon something or someone?
To give up the rights to, to deliberately fail to defend, to deliberately refuse to provide for. If we are incapable of defending someone, that’s not abandonment. If we are somehow incapacitated, we can neglect others or ourselves. But abandonment implies a deliberate choice to give up something.
As ministers of the gospel, we are called to make a deliberate and conscious choice to abandon ourselves to God. The mystery King David references is what happens when we abandon ourselves to God [give up our right to defend ourselves, to be ambitious for ourselves], and in so doing, we find we are safer because God is our defender.
He will not be moved. He will not be defeated. He will overcome.
That’s why Jesus tells us to pray for those who persecute us; those folks need our prayers because they are not striving with us, they have to deal with our Big Daddy, Who is God Almighty. In Isaiah, God tells us, His people, “He who touches you touches the apple of my eye.”
We know how quick we are to defend our children when they are threatened. Imagine how quickly then God will jump to our defense, even if we cannot see Him doing so.
We need to get out of God’s way, and let Him do the defending.
That requires trust, and self-control that is beyond my fleshly ability. The Holy Spirit must empower me to do so.
Let’s pray that the Holy Spirit will reinforce our trust in God by reminding us daily of how God has come to our rescue in the past, and how God has never failed us in the present. In other words, “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. Amen.”
Perhaps the hardest part of belonging to God is deciding to lay down the right to defend ourselves [in the flesh], when people are mean.
In Psalm 40, King David calls on us to “abandon ourselves to God” and “enter the mystery.”
I’ve been meditating on the meaning of abandonment. We can abandon all hope, we can abandon spouse or children, we can abandon jobs. What does it mean to abandon something or someone?
To give up the rights to, to deliberately fail to defend, to deliberately refuse to provide for. If we are incapable of defending someone, that’s not abandonment. If we are somehow incapacitated, we can neglect others or ourselves. But abandonment implies a deliberate choice to give up something.
As ministers of the gospel, we are called to make a deliberate and conscious choice to abandon ourselves to God. The mystery King David references is what happens when we abandon ourselves to God [give up our right to defend ourselves, to be ambitious for ourselves], and in so doing, we find we are safer because God is our defender.
He will not be moved. He will not be defeated. He will overcome.
That’s why Jesus tells us to pray for those who persecute us; those folks need our prayers because they are not striving with us, they have to deal with our Big Daddy, Who is God Almighty. In Isaiah, God tells us, His people, “He who touches you touches the apple of my eye.”
We know how quick we are to defend our children when they are threatened. Imagine how quickly then God will jump to our defense, even if we cannot see Him doing so.
We need to get out of God’s way, and let Him do the defending.
That requires trust, and self-control that is beyond my fleshly ability. The Holy Spirit must empower me to do so.
Let’s pray that the Holy Spirit will reinforce our trust in God by reminding us daily of how God has come to our rescue in the past, and how God has never failed us in the present. In other words, “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. Amen.”
Monday, July 6, 2009
Enter the Mystery
Psalm 40 (The Message)
A David Psalm
1-3 I waited and waited and waited for GOD. At last he looked; finally he listened.
He lifted me out of the ditch,
pulled me from deep mud.
He stood me up on a solid rock
to make sure I wouldn't slip.
He taught me how to sing the latest God-song,
a praise-song to our God.
More and more people are seeing this:
they enter the mystery,
abandoning themselves to GOD. 4-5 Blessed are you who give yourselves over to GOD,
turn your backs on the world's "sure thing,"
ignore what the world worships;
The world's a huge stockpile
of GOD-wonders and God-thoughts.
Nothing and no one
comes close to you!
A David Psalm
1-3 I waited and waited and waited for GOD. At last he looked; finally he listened.
He lifted me out of the ditch,
pulled me from deep mud.
He stood me up on a solid rock
to make sure I wouldn't slip.
He taught me how to sing the latest God-song,
a praise-song to our God.
More and more people are seeing this:
they enter the mystery,
abandoning themselves to GOD. 4-5 Blessed are you who give yourselves over to GOD,
turn your backs on the world's "sure thing,"
ignore what the world worships;
The world's a huge stockpile
of GOD-wonders and God-thoughts.
Nothing and no one
comes close to you!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Isaiah 40:31 (The Message)
27-31Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
27-31Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
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